Sticks and Stones: The Power of Words
MESSAGE TRANSCRIPTION:
Eastside, are you glad you’re here this morning? You guys did way better than 9:30, so I’m excited. My name is Brandon. I am our student pastor here and one of the teaching pastors, and I’m excited to be with you this morning as we are kicking off a new sermon series called Sticks and Stones, where we’re going to be talking about the power, the immense power that we all carry daily in the words that we allow to fall from our mouth, the words that we speak. But before I jump into the sermon, I don’t believe I can move forward without talking about what God did this past Sunday at one big party. Amen. Come on, they’re going to bring up all these numbers. We got to experience 57 baptisms. 32 of those were spontaneous. Alright, 49 first time guests, 17 student salvations at our student service that night. Not only, yeah, come on. Not only that, 412 in attendance for our student service record breaking number. And then lastly, 1,758 people in attendance last Sunday. Come on.
And we want to say thank you this morning to all the volunteers who made it possible this past Sunday. Thank you to everyone who made an invite, whether that person showed up or not, you did your part. And so thank you so much. Thank you to Jean for coming all the way out from California. And I fully believe, and I hope you can believe with me this morning, that God is on the move here at Eastside and I cannot wait and I’m anticipating and excited for what he’s going to do next. Amen. Amen. Alright, so ironically, as I share those numbers this morning, I want to start off this morning’s sermon by sharing two numbers with you. On average we speak about 16,000 words per day. Now some of you, you skew those numbers and you talk way more. You’re like my wife. My wife loves to talk, but I want you to think of it this way.
16,000 words on average per day. So if you’re to live to about the age 90, that means you would’ve spoken 525,600,000 words. It’s a lot of words, which means that’s a lot of opportunity to royally screw up and say the wrong thing. Amen. Some of you’re living it right now, but there are power in words. That’s the thing I want you to hear most this morning. There is power in the words that you speak. And often when I think of this, it makes me think of tattoos. The power words make me think about tattoos, and I want you to hang with me for a minute, but if I were to ask across the room, how many of you have tattoos? I’m sure many hands would go up. A lot of our staff had tattoos. I have tattoos and there’s a lot of beautiful and meaningful and tattoos that are out there, but there are a lot of people who’ve made impulsive decisions and have gotten tattoos that they highly wish they could get taken off, right?
Here’s a few of my favorite. The first one is, “Have any regerts?” Any regerts? Or this guy right here, “no pen, no gain.” I’m sure he was excited to go in the gym and pump iron after he got that motivating statement on his arm. And then perhaps my favorite is this, “Noledge is power,” the irony that knowledge is truly power. And I’m sure if he had the knowledge to spell that word, he would get it fixed. But sometimes people go into tattoo parlors and they make impulsive decisions, thoughtless decisions, careless ones, and they get tattoos and they’re stuck with it forever. And if not, if they want to go through the painful process of trying to get it removed, sometimes it’s still faded in the skin. Still kind of there still kind of exists. And I just want you to understand this morning, I want to use this as kind of a metaphor for where I want to take you this morning of the power of words.
Because just because your words are not tattooed on someone else’s skin does not mean that they’re not tattooed on the heart and the soul of someone else. And many of you like these people, have made some very impulsive decisions with your words. And I’ve left some very harsh and messy looking tattoos on the hearts and souls of other people. Or maybe you’re here this morning and you have those tattoos on your heart and soul from what someone said to you. We grew up saying the catchy statement, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. And what a clever and catchy way the devil used to hide what we all found out was a lie. Words hurt, words wound and words linger. And this past week on my social media, my Facebook and Instagram, I asked people, what is the most hurtful thing that has ever been said to you?
And the answers started pouring in. And as they were pouring in, I just had to start pacing myself because it was painful to read some of the statements that have been said to other people and the tattoos on their heart and soul that have still have never gone away. And these are some of the statements that I got. One person said, the most hurtful thing ever said to me is my dad and my ex-husband would always tell me if you loved me, you would do what I say. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be so needy. Someone else wrote, I had an ex of mine tell me one time that the world would be a better place if I were not in it. Someone else wrote, when they were around a group of people, they told her, why are you still here? No one invited you and no one wants you around. Someone else wrote, when I was 12, I was in charge of babysitting my little sister over the summer while my mom and dad were at work. During a fight with my sister at the age of 12, she said I was going to be the worst mom when I grew up to my children
The age of 12, the power of words over her life and her heart and in her soul, and perhaps one of the most painful ones I got, someone said, I was told at a church that my child just needed a few spankings to get over their problems. Telling me this about my son who had special needs, who had already been emotionally and physically abused was painful to hear. I needed support from the church and all I got was advice on how to make my abused child feel worse.
We read in Proverbs 18:21, it says this:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And even just a few words have the power of life and the power of death. And many of us, we understand this because we can so easily recall on the words whether it was just a couple. From our coaches, from our friends, from our parents, from relationships, we can so easily recall on those words. And it either brought you life or it brought you death in your soul. And those words today are still tattooed on your heart. Words have astonishing power to build up or to tear down, to bless or to curse, to give life or to bring death. And many of us, we are the product of the words that have been spoken over our life.
We are the product of the words that have been spoken over our life. You’re looking at a guy who is the sum total of the words spoken over his life. And I’ve been enormously blessed to have people in my life to be able to speak life into me as I was growing up. I had parents who blessed me with kind words and encouragement. And even though my dad passed away this past year, I know he was the biggest fan of what I’m doing today. I know my mom, who I call my steady encouragement, always tells me that she loves me, always tells me that she wants what God wants for me and always makes it a point to never miss when I teach, whether she’s in person or watching online. I’ve been enormously blessed to have parents, student leaders, friends to believe in me and to speak life into me. But I know many of you, you’re here this morning and that is not your story.
You’re saying “well, I never had that and that’s not fair”. It’s not fair that I’ve not had people speak life into me. And I just want to tell you this, that God can heal that in your life. God can heal what has been broken, what has been hurt, what has been wounded. And I promise you if you give Jesus a chance in the church a chance over the course of the next year, we’re going to offer spiritual steps throughout your journey here at Eastside, whether it be life group attending, a week in service serving. But if you keep saying yes and being obedient to God, you can be healed in Jesus name. Alright?
You can receive healing from God, from those words that have been spoken over your life.
And what I want to do this morning as we talk about the power of the tongue, I actually want to show you in scripture where we see the power of the tongue having life and death all the way back in Genesis Chapter One. The first chapter in the Bible, we see God set the world in motion and he doesn’t use and pull out his “Stanley tool set.” I know many men, your pump for your Stanley tool set, he doesn’t pull that out, but he uses words to set things into motion. We see in the third verse of the Bible, God took a situation that was formless and void. Darkness covered the face of the earth and he opened his mouth and the Bible says this, and Jesus, it says: “Then God said…” and then God said. God used words to bring light. And with his words, he created the world. He brings light and life and God blesses and he builds up. When he speaks, the light comes on. But just two chapters later, we see a very different use of the power of words we see in Genesis 3:1, it says:
“Now, the serpent was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, Eve, ‘Did God really say you can’t eat from any tree in the garden?””
Genesis 3:1
See, Satan is using words as well, but with Satan, he uses words to destroy and to confuse. And the interesting thing about what the serpent said is what he said wasn’t true because God didn’t say you couldn’t eat from any tree. He said, you can’t eat from one tree. And when Satan speaks, he brings confusion and he brings lies and he brings deceit. When he speaks over you, those lies, it takes the light out of your soul and darkness invades. And we learned that even though with the power of words, whether they’re true
Or they’re false, when they’re false, they still hold great power in your life. Those false words still hold great power. And we see the power of words all the way in the start of scripture. Genesis one, we see that it brings life and that God blesses and he creates and he builds. And then Genesis three, we see that they have the power of death and Satan steps in and he speaks, lies, deceit, and destroys life and brings death. The power of words are hardwired into our universe. And we see this theme continue in the gospel of John. And John was an eyewitness to the life of Jesus. And when he introduces Jesus in the start of his gospel, he doesn’t refer to Jesus as Jesus or the Messiah, but he refers to them as the word. And we see this in John 1:1, he says:
“In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God.”
John 1:1
And then verse four, it says:
“In him was life and that life was the light of men.”
John 1:4
We see the power of words in Genesis chapter one, and then that much later we see John introduce Jesus as the word because words have power and Jesus is that power that brings life and brings light where there is darkness. Jesus used words all the time to speak kingdom things into the earth. We see him calm storms with his words saying: “Peace be still.” We see him set captives free with his word. We see him set prisoners free by proclaiming the gospel. We see him raise a dead man, Lazarus from the grave, and he doesn’t go into the grave and bop him on the head, does he? No. He says: “Lazarus, come out of that grave,” and we see Jesus everywhere. He goes: “Where there is darkness, Jesus brings life and light.”
Jesus brings life and light. And I just want to ask, don’t you want to be a church that brings light where there is darkness? You can respond. Don’t you want to be a church? You want to be a church where we bring light, where there is darkness? Amen. All right, so what I want to do this morning is I want to get real practical because we need to be way more intentional about the words that we speak. And I want you to know I’m talking about myself just as much as anyone else. My wife would amen if she was in here. Alright? But I want to start us off here. In Proverbs 25:11, it says:
“A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.”
Proverbs 25:11
Speaking life-giving words at the right time in the right moment is like a beautiful gift that you can give to someone at any moment.
And so what I want to do is I want to share with you some life giving words, four types of communication that will actually bring life to every situation and relationship that you have. Whether it’s marriage, it’s friends, it’s kids, it’s work. No matter where it’s at, you’re going to be able to bring life from the words that you speak. And so first one is affirmation. Another word for this is to simply encourage, and I want to say it again, did you know that everything that comes from your mouth has the power to either build up or to tear down? To build up or to tear down? There’s no neutral words here. It says in Ephesians 4:29, it says:
“Do not use foul or abusive language. Let everything ‘meaning everything’, let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”
Ephesians 4:29
Let everything we say to those around us be an encouragement to those who hear it. And so the only thing that ought to come out of our mouth are words that build up and that encourage. You should tell people that you work with. Hey, I noticed the way you’re doing things and I love it. You’re doing a great job. Keep going. You should tell your wife, Hey, you’re a wonderful woman and I love how you parent our kids. You need to tell your husbands, I’m proud of you. You’re doing a good job and I respect you. You need to tell your son, you’re a young man of God and I’m proud of the man that you’re becoming. You need to tell your daughters, you’re a young woman of God and next to your mom, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. When we speak life and encouragement into our relationships, it becomes a game changer for the relationships in our life.
A place that we see this is in a story of Maryanne Bird. She writes in her memoir called “The Whisper,” the power of affirmation in her life. And this is what she says. She said: “I grew up knowing I was different and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate. And when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to other people. I was a girl with a misshaped lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth and garbled speech. When schoolmates asked what happened to your lip, I’d tell them that I had fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born this way. I was convinced that no one outside of my family could love me. There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored.
Ms. Leonard. She was short, round, happy, and a sparkling lady. Annually we would do a hearing test and Ms. Leonard, she gave the test to everyone in the class. And finally it was my turn. I knew from the past that we would stand against the door, cover one ear, and while the teacher was sitting at her desk, she would whisper something and we would have to repeat it back. She would say things like, the sky is blue. Do you have new shoes? And as I waited for those words that God must have placed in her mouth, those seven words that change my life forever, Ms. Leonard said in a whisper in front of the whole class, ‘I wish you were my little girl.’ I wish you were my little girl. Seven words. Seven words. And listen, I want you to know four words can change a life.
Three, five, it doesn’t matter. But when we speak the right things into someone’s life, it can change their life. And I want to speak to all the eki volunteers right now and I want to speak to the student volunteers right now. Don’t ever underestimate the power of speaking affirmation over the next generation. And if you’re looking for a place to serve, we want you to serve and eat, kids or student ministry because we could always use more spiritual mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters to be able to speak life into the next generation. I mean, imagine what kind of church we would look like if we continue to say things like I believe in you. I believe God has placed something in you. I believe you are going to do great things for the kingdom someday. And as the student pastor of this church, I want to fully commission you to start speaking affirmation over the next generation in Jesus’ name, so that when they leave the church, they can walk out with their chest puffed out saying, I know that God believes in me and loves me and my church believes in me and loves me.
Amen. And so we need to speak after affirmation. It’s life giving. The second thing we need to speak is we need to openly and verbally express affection. We need to openly and verbally express affection. You need to tell people how much you love them. You need to tell people how much you care for them. That person that is not sitting next to you today and worship, you need to text them and tell them that you miss them. We need to tell each other how much we care. And why do we need to do this is because God does this for us. It says in Jeremiah 31:3, it says:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love…”
Jeremiah 31:3
I’ve loved you with an everlasting love. Meaning that if you’re here this morning and you feel like no one loves you, if you feel like your husband doesn’t love you, your wife doesn’t love you, your family, your boss, those people that you thought were your friends, if you feel like they don’t love you, there is a God with an everlasting love, the God of the universe who loves you.
And it says in scripture says, neither life nor death, nor angels, nor demons, nor present, nor future, nor height, nor depth, nothing in all of creation can separate you from the love of God, the love that God has for you. And so we need to speak of affection openly and verbally to our relationships because it gives life. And now before I share number three, I need the fellows to lean in because I’m going to tell you advance. I’m about to give you some of the best advice you’ve ever received. Alright? And so if you’re not taking notes, now’s the time to start. But I’m about to share with you the four most romantic words in the world that you can share with your girl or your wife. Okay, you ready? Oh man, you guys must have a really good relationship. Don’t need no help. Alright? But the four most romantic words you can ever say to your wife, here it is: “And then what happened?”
That’s funny, right? And then what happened? And after she passes out and you pick her up off the floor, then you can ask her and then what happened? It’s the four most romantic words a guy can say to a woman. And why do these words matter? Why do they matter to your spouse? Why should they matter to your kids? Why should they matter at all to any relationship? Well, let me put it this way. Rachel, my wife, she loves to tell me about her day. She loves to tell me when she learns something new. She just loves to talk, alright? And there is a big difference that when she is talking to me and I go from hearing to saying, and then what happened? It changes the game of my relationship. Why? Because it shows that I’ve gone from hearing what my wife says to listening what my wife says. Sometimes the power of words isn’t about what we can say, it’s about how we can listen.
It’s the gift of listening. Look what it says in Proverbs 17:28. I love this. It says:
“Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouth shut, they seem intelligent.”
Proverbs 17:28.
The Bible’s good, ain’t it? Meaning that men, if you just sit still and you listen and you listen and you listen, if you just sit there, you’re going to seem intelligent to your wife and she’s not going to know how foolish you truly are. Amen. But then James echoes this even further in James 1:19. He says:
“My brothers and sisters, I understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.”
James 1:19
Now if you’re like me, sometimes when you come home, at the end of the day, you are peopled out and you’re listened out. And the tendency is to come home, to disconnect, to be uninvolved with your family, with your relationships.And I just want to challenge you this morning that when you come home, it doesn’t have to be a long time, it could be 10 minutes, it could be 15 minutes, but take some time and connect with your wife, connect with your husband, connect with your kids, and watch how it changes the game of your relationships. Come into your home, sit down and say: “And then what happened?” And then what happens? And just over and over again, and we can do this with any relationship that we have. And then maybe you’re here this morning and you’re like, well Brandon, all this is good, gooey, lovey-dovey great stuff. I’m loving it. But, how do I have the difficult conversation without speaking deaf into the relationship? How do I give life when it’s hard to have the conversation? And this leads us to point number four:
You need to speak truth in love.
You need to speak the truth in love. You have to talk about what’s wrong. You have to talk about what’s broken. You have to talk about what’s not working. You have to talk about the wounds and the hurts and the relationship, but you say it in such a way that it doesn’t intimidate or frighten the other person. You say it in such a way that you don’t have to raise your voice or throw the remote control across the room. And I want you to think about it this way. Think about the last family fight that you had was whoever it was, could have been weeks ago, could have been a couple days ago, could have been on your way to church this morning. Isn’t it funny how a lot of arguments start on your way to church? I like to believe that I’m a quick learner. I fix this problem quickly. I watched my parents do it for 25 years. Me and my wife don’t ride to church anymore together. Alright? So I’ve saved our marriage and I’ve saved Sunday arguments. So if you need to take a tip, there it is. But I want you to think about the last relationship argument that you had. Now ask yourself this question: how loud did you speak? How low were your blows?
How many buttons did you push of the other person? How many verbal missiles did you launch at the other person? And I want to ask you this, have you ever really changed someone by raising your voice and trying to intimidate them? I’ve been pastoring for six years now. I’ve met with a lot of families, over a hundred students and now couples. And I’ve never had anyone come to me and say: “Bunch, let me just tell you, when I launched that verbal missile at that person, it changed everything. I mean when I dropped that one liner, when I told them where they could put it, I mean the relationship got better.” No, no one has ever said that. No one has ever said that. You see, a loving tone can disarm some of the most intense arguments. A loving tone can change the emotion in the room and bring it down. And this is why I believe it’s so important that we always say “I” statements instead of “you” statements, we say all the time around here, I always tell people, use “I” statements and even a life group, we don’t use “we” statements, we don’t make it easier to bring the blow by saying, well, we think and we thought, no, we use “I” statements. But what are “you” statements? “You” statements are when you say: “You are so lazy.” “You are a jerk.”
“You are rude, you are out of control.” But when we turn things around, when we shift our mind to using “I” statements and what you are feeling, well the person can’t argue with those statements. It might sound like: “Honey, I really get hurt when you come home at night and you don’t talk to me.”Honey, I feel like I don’t matter and I feel like I’m not valued. I feel like I’m a bother.” See the person that you’re talking to, the problem person, they may disagree with you, but they can’t disagree with your feelings.
And so this is why we should use those “I” statements. It says in the Bible, in John 1:14, Jesus is talked about as:
“Jesus was full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14
Grace and truth. And that’s what we have to aspire to be like. We have to be willing to say what we believe, be honest, but do it in such a way that it doesn’t intimidate or frighten the other person. We say things and we speak truth and love, we speak grace with truth. I want to put it this way: Truth without grace, it’s mean. But grace without truth is meaningless. Meaning that you need both truth and grace, both truth and grace. Because when you speak truth and grace, you speak love and truth. It’s like medicine to the soul. It’s like medicine to the soul. Words have power. They have the power of life or the power of death. Now I realize that some of you, you’re here this morning and you need some healing in your hearts because you’ve been absolutely demolished by the words of other people. You’ve been devastated by the words of other people, whether it be a friend, your family, your spouse.
Those words have been tattooed on your heart and your soul. And this morning, as I’ve gone through the sermon, if I can put it this way, I’ve kind of ripped the scab off the proverbial wounds that you’ve been carrying around. And it’s time to stop slapping band-aids on it and to leave it open and to allow God to start doing some healing. And so this morning, I just want to invite everyone in the room to just bow your head where you’re at. And you’re here this morning and you know that on your heart and your soul right now, you have some painful things that have been tattooed there by someone else. And I just want to create this space for the Holy Spirit to really invade us. And I just want to take some time and silence that you would just pray right now in this moment, Holy Spirit, would you come in with Jesus’s blood and will you wash and make clean these words that wear so heavy on my heart and on my soul? And so Jesus, we pray this morning. God, I pray over everyone here. God, I pray for my own heart.
Jesus, I pray that we can just start the healing process. That God, we would stop putting band-aids on it and that God, we would allow your Holy Spirit right now to just invade us and to take the blood, the precious blood of Jesus and to wash it over our heart and our soul. God, to remove those words that have been planted by someone else and God to replace them with your words that says, “I’m blessed, I’m chosen, I’m called. I’m important. I am loved with an everlasting love.” So God, I pray over everyone today that God carries that today is the day of healing. Jesus, we love you and we trust you and we say this in your name. Amen. Now, I know for some of you this morning, the wound goes a little deeper. The wound goes a little deeper because you have yet to invite Jesus into your heart. Like you have this wound inside of your heart that only a God can fill, only Jesus can fill, but you have yet to invite him into your life and to make him the Lord and the Savior. And maybe you’re here this morning
And you’re ready to have that wound healed. You’re ready for that God sized hole to be filled. You’re ready to invite Jesus in because you’re like, I’m ready to receive real healing from the things that have been spoken over my life. And maybe you’re asking the question: “So how can I do that?” Well, Jesus put it this way in John chapter three, verse three, he says: “Truly I tell you, unless someone has been born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” So Jesus says, if you want to make me your Lord, if you want to go to heaven someday, he asks the question: have you been born again? And if you haven’t been born again, the good news is today you can be born again. And the thing that I love about Jesus is he never makes things complicated. He makes it simple and accessible. And that’s why we say being born again is as easy as A, B and C.
The letter “A” means to admit.
Simply admit that you are a sinner, that you have fallen short of God’s glory and that you’re broken and apart from God. You can’t do it on your own.
And can I tell you, if that’s hard for you to do this morning, you’re in a room full of people who have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. And so we want you to know you have space to be able to say that this morning.
The letter “B” means to believe.
It means to believe that Jesus is who he says that he is, that he stepped out of Heaven, he walked a perfect life that you and I could not. He died on a cross for our sins and he went to the grave, but not, but three days later, he rose from the death, conquered death, so that today we could have a relationship with the Father.
And then the letter C means to confess.
It means to confess Jesus as the Lord and the Savior of your life, that you’re no longer in charge but you give him full control. And so this morning I want to invite you one more time just to bow your head. I want to make space for those in the room who are maybe here this morning and you’re saying: “I’m ready to be born again.” And in a moment I’m going to ask you to raise your hand. And the reason I’m going to have you raise your hand, and I’m going to go around the room and count is because I want to make sure you’re included on the born again prayer.
But if you’re here this morning and you’re saying: “I want a fresh start. I want my sins forgiven. I’ve never invited Jesus in, but I’m ready to do that today and I’m ready to have that supernatural power to receive healing from the words that have been tattooed on my heart and soul. I’m ready to make heaven my home.” If you’re here this morning and you would say: “I’m ready to be born again”, would you just raise your hand right now? Just lift it up really high. See, one, two, three, four, seeing the risers, five, six, seven. Thank you. And so this morning I want to invite everyone to look up at the screen.
And I want all of us to read this prayer together, but especially for those six, I want you to pay close attention to the words that you’re about to say as you seal the deal and make Jesus the Lord and the savior of your life. And this is what it says: “Dear Lord Jesus, I believe you’re the son of God. I believe that on a cross, you took my sin, my shame, my guilt, and you died for it. You faced hell for me so I wouldn’t have to go. You rose from the dead to give me a place in heaven, a purpose on earth and a relationship with your Father. Today, Lord Jesus, I turn for my sin to be born again. God is my father. Jesus is my Savior. The Holy Spirit is my helper, and Heaven is now my home. In Jesus’ name. Amen.” Can we celebrate those six people? Come on. And I just want all those people to know not only does the Eastside support and celebrate your decision and want to surround you, but it says in scripture that all of Heaven is throwing a party right now because you just made the best decision in your life. And so this morning, I want to invite you to stand as we’re going to continue in worship
And as we continue in worship this morning, I want to remind you maybe you’re still wrestling and in this process of trying to allow God to take that first step to get healing. I want to invite you in this time as we sing and as we worship, to make space for God and just say: Yes, God, I want your healing, and will you watch my heart and my soul are the things that have been spoken over my life as we continue and worship this morning.”