Sticks and Stones: Three Powerful Words
MESSAGE TRANSCRIPTION:
Well, good morning. My name is Micah. I’m one of the leaders around here, and I’m thankful and privileged to get the opportunity to wrap up this series called “Sticks and Stones.” Didn’t Bunch do a great job last week? Can we give it up for Bunch? Yes. Yes, man. He really set this series up and what it was all about, how our words can really have life or death in them. See, they can bring someone up or they can tear somebody down. And the thing is, we’ve all been affected and shaped by the words that have been spoken over us, some good and some bad. But I love this series because it’s for everyone. Everyone can relate. And this morning we’re going to continue to talk about words and how they can radically change our lives. And the three words that I want us to look at are three words that I know have changed my life and I’ve seen them been spoken to other people and it’s changed their lives.
And I’ve seen it radically change the people that have actually spoke these words in their lives. And so what are the three words? Well, it’s not “never give up.” It’s not “seize the day.” It’s not “be the change or believe in yourself.” or “just simply let it go.” And as someone first said in first service, she says: “I love you.” That’s a great one. But it’s not that. This morning, it is the three words:
I forgive you.
You see, I believe that these three words have the power to change your life today. They’re not just for the words who are on the receiving end. It’s not just for that person, but it’s actually more so for the person that speaks these words: “I forgive you.” Now, I understand that these words are hard to talk about. They’re hard to listen to. And one of the hardest things is that, as Christians, we are called to do this.
It is a must that we must forgive people. When I think of we must forgive, I instantly start to think this is really hard. But in Colossians chapter three, Paul is writing to a church in colossal. And these Christians are being tempted and tried to conform to the world and its culture, a lot like us today. I started to think, what are some things that I’ve heard that the culture tell me to help conform to their view, help conform to what they believe in? And so I wrote some of these things down. So our culture pushes things like drugs to heal our pain. Sex with many partners will heal that loneliness that you feel. Sex before marriage is overrated. Eat until you can’t eat anymore. Hate your enemies. Chase after what makes you feel good. Follow Jesus on Sundays, but not through the week. Cancel culture. If anybody disagrees with you, has sinned against you, or you just don’t get along with them, just remove them from your life. You see, there’s no forgiveness. There’s no second chances, just punishment and vengeance.
The letter that Paul wrote thousands of years ago still applies to us today. And so in Colossians 3:13, it says this:
“Make allowance for each other’s faults. And forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you so you must, ‘It’s required of us.’ You must forgive others.”
Colossians 3:13
Oh man, I don’t know about you, but I had siblings growing up and at some times if they made you mad, you just give them a punch to the gut. And that’s what that feels like when I read this right? When I see that God has called me to say it’s required of me to forgive, it feels like a gut punch. And the reason that it feels that way is because I instantly start thinking of all the people that don’t deserve my forgiveness. You see, I want to argue with God and trust me, I have spent time arguing with God saying: “God, you’re telling me, even though this person has done some terrible things to me, has called me every name under the sun, insulted me over and over again, left me abandoned, hurt, broken.
You’re telling me I must forgive them? There’s no way.” And in these words, I know it’s hard to read, it’s hard to listen to, and it’s even harder to put them in to practice. And as I was preparing for this message, I started to ask myself this one question: Why is this so hard?” God, it seems like every time I forgive one person, there’s another three that I have to forgive, right? It’s just a never ending cycle of forgiveness that I have to continue. Forgive somebody. Again, I started to ask: “Why God, why is this so hard? Why is it so hard? Why?” And out of asking God, why is it so hard? And reflecting with God, God gave me some answers to help explain why this is so hard and to help relate it for us. I have this thing that I want to paint a picture in your head.
So what is this? Real quick, can you say it out loud? Pen? Yes. Awesome. This is not just any pen though. If you were in grade school or for me in middle school and you got one of these pens and you knew somebody had wronged you, or maybe you just wanted to trick a friend, you’d go up to ’em and say: “Hey, do you want to use this pen? I got a special pen for you.” You guys know what happens next, right? They grab the pen and as soon as they push down on it, what happens? It shocks them. Yeah, zap, right? Or what about maybe you’ve been fooled by the gum, right? The gum used to always get me, because I used to think when I was younger, I just had the worst breath and I always wanted gum. And so anybody would pull out a gum, I’d be like: “Oh, yes!” boom.
And I would get zapped. It’s a trick. It’s a scheme, it’s a scam. Anybody in here been tricked or scammed? Yeah. Right? And what does that make you feel? For me, it makes me want to punch ’em, right? I’m just like, man, why would you do that to me? Because why? I thought that this was going to be good for me. I thought the gum was going to be the cure to my bad breath. But what happens? I’m left with a numb thumb and an angry heart. Again, I’ve been tricked. I’ve been scammed by someone’s schemes. And I wanted to relate this because the reason that forgiveness may seem impossible and the reason why it may feel like it is so hard to say the three words: “I forgive you”, it’s because Satan has actually tricked us to believe some things, some lies. And so the first one that Satan has tricked us into believing is that we don’t have to forgive at all, right?
It it’s this belief that no, Satan is telling us: “Hey, you don’t need a forgiving heart.” No. What you actually need and what you actually want is an unforgiving heart, right? But when we choose not to forgive, it only hurts us. And do you know how this really plays out in our life? Is that when someone wrongs us, sins against us says something that disagrees with us, we start to think we get upset, right? We’re offended, but then we start telling ourselves” Oh, it’s no big deal. I’m fine. I’m fine. That insult didn’t hurt, that comment didn’t hurt. It’s fine. It’ll be okay.” See, you’re actually avoiding using the words: “I forgive you.” And the thing is, every time that you pass that person, every time that you talk to them, you smile and you nod, but in reality, you’re really just cursing them.
That’s how it plays out. That’s how the lie plays out in our lives. When we believe that we don’t have to forgive somebody. It’s not just that. That’s not just the only trick. Satan has tricked us. The second one, oh wait, sorry. Before that, when we think of being strict, of having an unforgiving heart, there’s this verse or there’s this quote about unforgiveness that I wanted to share. It’s heard all the time. It says: “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping that our other person will die” Again, It’s super easy for us to be tricked, super easy for me to be tricked by the schemes of Satan, to believe that I don’t have to forgive anyone. And the second thing is to believe that: “vengeance is mine.” Anyone else like vengeance out there? Raise your hand. There’s only a couple of you guys.
Hey, listen, if you’re not raising your hand, guess what? I know you’re lying. You know why? Listen to this. I’m going to speak to the men first, okay? My men, alright, we love action movies, right? Nothing is better than watching an awesome action movie. And you have your system turned out super loud and you can feel it in your chair, right? This is awesome. And so for me, I grew up in a household where DC was better than Marvel. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Hey. Amen. That’s right. DC is better than Marvel. And so for me, does anybody know who is the number one superhero in DC?
Yes. Let’s go. Hey, listen, I had somebody in the first service start yelling Superman. I was like, no way. Alright, get him out of there. Batman is the number one superhero, but how did Batman get started? Well, you see, he sees his parents, Thomas and Martha get murdered in the streets that he swears vengeance on every criminal talking about they must pay. He begins to train himself up and he becomes a vigilante where he can start to take matters into his own hands. Are you listening? That’s how easy it is for us to get tricked. And ladies, don’t forget, I haven’t forgot about you guys. My sisterhood ladies. Alright, I have a movie for you guys. Alright? It’s mean girls, do I really need to say anything more about getting vengeance in that movie? Again, this person, you may know this person or this might be you, but how they live this out, how they live this lie out is they return blow for blow.
They don’t back down because they believe if they don’t send it for themselves, no one will. They take matters into their own hands planning and living their life to punish others. Again, it’s so easy for us to be tricked and it’s weird because it feels so right? Like, vengeance feels so right, right? When I’m watching Batman and the newest one that came out and the guy’s like: “Who are you?” And he says: “I’m vengeance.” And he’s like going ham and he’s fighting all these bad guys. I’m like: Yes, this is awesome!”, right? It feels right. There’s something inside of us that desires justice for the people that have done wrong to us or to others, but it’s a lie, even though it feels so right, it’s a lie. You see, God has actually called us to not seek vengeance. He repeatedly tells us over and over in scripture, and I want you to read these and take them into remembrance. And so I’m going to share some of the scriptures where God calls us not to seek vengeance. In 1 Peter 3:9 it says:
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing”.
1 Peter 3:9
It sounds really weird, right? It doesn’t feel right, but it’s true. Again, 1 Thessalonians 5:15, it says:
“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong from wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”
1 Thessalonians 5:15
Deuteronomy, this is where God is speaking to his people. He says: “It is mine to avenge, I will repay.” You don’t need to do it. He says: “I got you. And due time, their foot will slip, their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” And the last verse I want to share is Proverbs 20:22. It says:
“Do not say I’ll pay you back for this wrong. Wait for the LORD and he will avenge you.”
Proverbs 20:22
God is saying: “Don’t worry, I got your back. Don’t worry, I got you.” So you don’t need to be tricked, my friends, into thinking that vengeance is yours. It is the father’s, it is God’s. Again, even though a lot of this may feel like the right choice, it may feel like the right choice not to forgive somebody.
It may feel like the right choice to get vengeance, but it’s all a lie. Don’t be easily tricked. You see, in the last lie that Satan wants to trick us into believing is found in Ephesians chapter six, and it goes like this. It says: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Now listen, I’m not saying that you need to stop watching DC or Marvel or any movies that has vengeance, but what I am saying is that have the armor of God in mind. And you know the truth, even though this may play a feeling when you’re watching something or listening to something that may feel good to cheer them on that in reality, in truth, God says that you don’t need to do it.
And in this last way that we are tricked into believing is this. It’s found right here. It says “For we do not wrestle, we do not fight. We’re not in war against flesh and blood. ‘That’s me and you, that’s people,’ but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers, over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” God’s saying: “Hey, guess what? The people that are in here, the people that are your neighbor, the people that you’re in, relationships, hey, they’re not the enemy. They are not the enemy.” And the way that this plays out is when this person starts to say: “Woe is me.” “Everyone is out to get me.” “No one is for me.” “I can’t trust anyone any longer.” You see, this person remembers every time that they’ve been wronged and they won’t let it go. Trusting people is very hard for them, even when that person is actually trustworthy and should be trusted. And do you know why Satan wants to use these tricks to trick us? He knows what will happen because you know what will happen? You see, we will actually destroy relationships with anger, malice speech, unforgiving hearts and bitterness. Satan knows this and that’s what he wants. And why does he want that? Why does Satan want us to destroy the relationships with one another?
It’s because he knows that having an unforgiving heart leads to bitterness. And what happens when you’re bitter?You cannot love one another when you have a bitter heart. And Satan knows this. He’s going to try everything he can to trick us into believing that vengeance is ours, right? That it’s against the people that were at war, not him, right? Because when we start believing that people are our enemy, our view is off Satan, it’s off his schemes, it’s off his plan. And in this he knows if we cannot love, then we cannot live out what Jesus commands us to do. In John 13:34, it says this: “A new command I give you, ‘This is Jesus speaking, He says,” love one another as I have loved you, “so you must. It is required of us that we must love one another,’ By this, everyone will know that you’re my disciples.”
Listen to that. How you love is how people are going to know that you are His disciple. Not because you can quote scripture at somebody when they do something wrong, not because you can post verses, not because you can just say that you’re a Christian or show up on Sundays. It says: “By the love of one another, they will know that you’re my disciples.” It says: “If you love one another, again, when you’re trapped in the schemes of Satan, it can seem almost impossible to seek forgiveness or to say the words, I forgive you,” right? Because what Satan tells us just feels so right. I mean, it just feels like I need to take vengeance. When someone hurts me, it feels like I should just seclude myself and push everybody away because I’ve been hurt way too many times.
It feels right to not say, “I forgive you,” it makes me feel good. But don’t be fooled. Just like the pen, right? You probably got shocked once, unless you’re like me. I got shocked a few times. I always fall for it, right? Don’t be tricked. And so in this, how can we fight against this? How can forgiveness, even though it may feel impossible, but how is it actually possible? How can God make this easier for us? What’s actually found in the very first verse that we read, and it’s in Colossians 3:13, and some words are in bold and they’re highlighted, and it says this. It says:
“Make allowance for each other’s faults. And forgive anyone who offends you. ‘God says,’ let it be known. People are going to sin against you.”
Colossians 3:13
They will offend you and you’re going to offend some other body or someone else. The words that people will speak to you might be heartbreaking. And so don’t expect perfection from people that will not ever be perfect. You see, to make allowance for people in your life means that you give them a cushion of grace. Now, the perfect example that I have of this and what it looks like to maybe give somebody a cushion of grace in your life was just a few weeks ago, I had someone hit my mailbox. They kind of hit their car and hit my mailbox. And it’s Friday, it is like 7:30, 8 o’clock in the morning and someone’s knocking on my door, my dogs are going crazy. And I’m just like: “What in the world is going on?” And so I get dressed and I go out there and I see this woman, she proceeds to tell me: “Hey, I’m so sorry I knocked over your mailbox.” And as she’s telling me these things, I’m rubbing my head trying to figure out, alright, I don’t even know how to fix this. I’m trying to figure out who do I need to call to help me put the mailbox up or do all these things? I just don’t know. And in this, I wanted to get angry. I wanted to get frustrated with her, but I kept reminding myself, she’s not perfect. She’s not perfect.
And in that moment, as I was reminding myself and trying to have a cushion of grace, it was heartbreaking to see that this woman was already distraught, right? She was telling her that she’s such a bad driver, she’ll pay for it to get fixed and all these different things. But that’s what it looks like to have a cushion of grace to put in your relationship. It allows space for that person to make mistakes and for it to be okay. It makes forgiveness more possible when we realize that no one is perfect, right? And the second way that God makes forgiveness possible is in the second part of the verse. It says: Remember, the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others.” And so what I love about Colossians three is that before Paul even writes to the church, to a church of believers like me, and he starts telling them all the things that they used to do before they encountered Jesus. Before they were saved, before they were born again, before they were all on the journey of the all in life, before they were trying to live and love like Jesus.
And so in Colossians chapter three, it says this: For you died in your life. It’s now hidden with Christ and God.” He’s reminding them, Hey, you’ve been born again. And it says: “When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” He’s reminding him, Hey, you’ve been born again. Your name is now written in the book of life. It says: “Therefore put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature.” Put to death, whatever you used to do, sexual immorality and purity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. “Because of these, the wrath of God is coming ‘insert remember. he says,’ “you used to walk in these ways in the life that you once lived.” That was the old you. And he goes on to continue. “But now you must also rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips do not lie to each other since you have taken off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge and the image of its Creator.”
This whole time before he tells them: “Make allowance,” Before he tells them: “remember,” Before he tells them: “Hey, you must love,” he says: “Look, this is what you used to do. Do you remember? You used to do all these things, but now Jesus has came and said these three words: ‘I forgive you.’ And when he said these three words, I forgive you, he set you free from punishment. He set you free from guilt. He set you free from shame, fear from being orphaned, and now that you’re a child of God, because he said: ‘I forgive you.'” And so I have to ask you this morning, do you remember the guilt and shame you felt before knowing God? Can you remember the weight of the sin in your life that tormented you for years? Do you remember the first time God spoke to you and you experience his love for the very first time? Can you recall when you received Christ and your sins were forgiven, past, present, and future? I know for me I can. And I actually remember when God spoke to me and reminded me of the life that I used to live.
You see? And out of that, it convicted me to forgive somebody but also seek forgiveness from the same person.
And in this it was 2015, you see, I had grown up in and out of church and I was baptized as a freshman in high school. But then I went out and lived my life. I did whatever I wanted. But in 2015 was the year that I decided that I was really going to start to live this all in life. I was really going to start to live and love like Jesus. And in this moment, in this year, I was reading my Bible religiously day in, day and night. I was watching sermons every morning, every night, every chance I got. And it was a combination of these things that I was reading and listening to when God brought my mom on my heart. You see, at the time Satan had a good hold of me, let’s say that. I was completely tricked by all the schemes of Satan that we just talked about. You see, I believe that I didn’t have to forgive my mom. I kept pushing it off, just saying: “It was years ago, what happened. I’ve moved on, it’s okay.” But I didn’t want to be around my mom. And anytime that what came close, I just started to think of all the bad things that she did. She wasn’t there how she made me feel, all these different things.
I thought that vengeance was mine. And so when my mom would text me or when she would come down to see me, I would give her a cold shoulder. I wouldn’t text back. I wouldn’t call back. I thought: “Ah, this is the way that I can get back to her.” And I definitely walked around. Whoa is me. No one’s here for me. Everyone’s out to get me. But in this moment, around this time of the year in 2015, as I was reading and listening, I was driving home from Little Caesars and this song came on “K-Love”. Pretty classic. I know, but I’ll never forget the song and what it said. It said: “I’m completely surrendering, finally giving you everything.” And it made me think that I need to completely surrender my unforgiving, bitter heart to God because I haven’t. And at that moment, the conviction was so heavy on me that I picked up the phone and I called my mom and that phone call forever changed my life. And it also changed the relationship that I have with my mom now. I was able to muster up and say the words: “I forgive you,” and seek forgiveness for the way that I had been treating my mom.
So as we close this morning, I know that there are people here as I was asking you to remember, as I was asking you to recall the first time that you experienced God’s love, the first time you heard him speak to you the first time that your sins were forgiven from him, that you can’t remember. And the reason is is because you haven’t been born again. You haven’t asked God to wipe away your sins. And in this moment I know that Satan is going to try to trick you. In a moment, I’m going to ask you if you want to be born again, if you want your sins to be forgiven, if you want your life and your name to be written in the book of life, to raise your hand. But I know as I’m talking right now, Satan is trying to trick you. There’s a war that is going on inside your head and inside your heart.
I know because I’ve been there and the people that have said yes to God and to being born again, you guys are with me, right? You guys know what it’s like. There’s this war and Satan is telling me that: “Hey, I have till tomorrow. I have until next week. I have until next month.” And the lie that he’s trying to tell you right now is saying that salvation is not today. It is a year from now. It’s a month from now. But the truth is, even though that may feel right in the moment, the truth is Jesus says: “Today is the day of salvation. Today is that moment for you to be born again. Today is that moment for your sins to be forgiven. Today is that moment for you to have your name written in the book of life.” So in John 3:3, Jesus says:
“No one can see the kingdom of God, ‘You can’t make it into eternity with God, with his father forever,’ without being born again.” And so how do we become born again? Well, we say it’s as easy as the ABCs, right? The first thing you need to do is just admit.”
John 3:3
Admit that you’re a sinner. Say I’m a sinner. Admit it. We all have this issue, this sin issue that we cannot fix. There’s no program. There’s no parent. There’s no priest that can fix this. There’s no amount of knowledge that you can obtain to fix this sin issue in your life. Only Jesus. And so we need to admit that we’re a sinner. And the second thing, we just need to believe that God sent his son to die in your place on your behalf, so that your sins may be forgiven, past, present, and future. Believe it. And the last thing is confess. You need to confess Jesus as your Lord and Savior of your life. He’s now in charge. So this morning, will you bow your heads? Again, I had asked for you, who wants to be born again? Who wants your sins forgiven, past, present, and future? And if you want your name written in the book of life, I want you to listen to this. We have a God who is speaking over your life today saying: “I forgive you. I’ve already paid it all.” You see, we don’t have a God that says: “You know what? Come back when you’re all cleaned up, when you got this issue fixed.” No. We have a God who says: “While we were still sinners, while we were still a mess, I sent my son to die for you. So that today you can have your sins forgiven, so that today you can be born again.” Don’t believe the lie this morning that you have next week, next month, next year. If you’re here today and you want to say: “I want to be born again. I want a fresh, all my sins forgiven, my name written in the book of Heaven,” I want to ask you right now, if that is you, will you just raise your hand? Raise them up high. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I see you. Eight. I see you in the back. Nine.
Thank you. Now, let us all read this born again prayer for the people that have been born. Again, this is a reminder of what God has done for us and for you that raised your hand. Let’s read this together in full voice. “Dear Lord Jesus, I believe you’re the son of God. I believe that on the cross, you took my sin, my shame, my guilt, and you died for it. You faced hell for me so I wouldn’t have to go. You rose from the dead to give me a place in heaven, a purpose on earth, and a relationship with your Father. Today, Lord Jesus, I turn from my sin to be born again. God is my Father. Jesus is my Savior. The Holy Spirit is my helper, and heaven is now my home. And Jesus’ name. Amen.” Can we give it up to people? Yeah. Amen. Now, to everyone who has been born again, I got to ask the question, who is it that you need to forgive? Write it down in your phone, in your notes. Go ahead and have that picture in your head. Again, because today you know the schemes of Satan, right? He wants you to believe right now that you don’t need to forgive him.
He’s trying to trick you right now that vengeance is yours. You need to pay them back. And he’s trying to tell you right now that people are their enemy and not him. So today, with that person in mind, we’re all going to say it together:I forgive you.” On a count of three. Alright? One, two three: “I forgive you.” Give it up. Give up for you guys. That right there, we just took the schemes of Satan, just threw it out. Isn’t that awesome? Isn’t the feeling great? Don’t you feel like you can love again? Let me pray. Father, thank you for the courage to say those three words: “I forgive you.” Thank you for the gift of remembrance to recall how you first loved us and forgave us of our sins while we were still sinners. Holy Spirit, we ask that you help us to continue to make allowance for one another, to have a cushion of grace and of relationships, and to have a forgiving heart because the Lord first forgave us. We pray all this in your name. Amen.