God & Sexuality: Original Design
MESSAGE TRANSCRIPTION:
For you that are new around here, I’m Virgil Grant, I’m the senior pastor here at Eastside. I’m so glad that you have chosen to be with us today. I cannot think of a better day for you to join than today as we launch a brand new sermon series called:
“God and Sexuality.”
And I just want to, before I jump into the message and jump into this sermon series, I want to make two quick announcements. Okay? The first announcement is this: if you have children under the age of 13, you need to understand that this is a PG 13 sermon series and I would encourage you to take advantage of our E-kids ministry that helps them to learn about God on their own level. And it’s a wonderful ministry; we have 150 to 200 kids every weekend that utilizes our E Kids ministry.
So the first thing I just want to say upfront as we jump into this sermon series, that this is PG 13, and you’ll figure that out very quickly. The second thing I want you to understand that this is really one message, but I had to divide it up over three weeks because I couldn’t put everything that I needed to say into one sermon. So my challenge to you is for you to be here all three weeks because if I don’t answer your question, I don’t get to the topic that you think that I should get to today. I just want you to know that it will come up in week two or week three, and I promise that we’ll probably get to the question or the thing that you’re concerned about. But you and I, we were not very old before we began to discover the reality of our sexuality.
Now, let me say that again. I worked on that, John, pretty hard because that’s kind of a tongue twister there. It wasn’t very old. We were not very old before we really began to understand that there was this reality of our sexuality, their children, since a sexual mystique. Very early on, for example, I heard about a mom who was giving her 2-year-old son a bath, and the son was very inquisitive and he goes: “Mom, what is this?” And she goes: “Silly, that is your ear.” And then he goes: “Well mom, what is this?” And she goes: “Silly, it is your nose.” Yeah. And then he goes: “Well, what are these mom?” And she said: “Eyes.” And then he goes: “Well, what is this?” And she said: “Mouth.” And then he went to his belly button and he said: “Mommy, what is this?” And she said: “Belly button.” And then as you would imagine, and you would guess, he pointed a little further south and said: “Mom, what is this?” And the mom passed out on the floor because she was not prepared to answer that question.
Now, it is odd to me that we are sexual beings. We live in a sex dominated culture in our media, in our advertising, in our music, in our movies, in our economy, and on the internet. But when it comes to talking about sex in the church, there’s a discomfort. And many of you, you are concerned about what’s going to be said over the next three weeks. In fact, I’ve had many of you to ask me: “Pastor, what are you going to say over the next three weeks?” Some of you are nervous about what I’m going to say. And if you think about it, we, discussing this topic of sexuality in this environment, in this culture, can be a very heated, debated subject.
But lemme tell you what I’m nervous about. I’ve got my mother and my two grown children who’s setting in the service, listening to me talk about God and sexuality. Does anybody want to trade places with me? I’ll be glad to trade places with you. I grew up in the church from the age of nine on up; and the first 24 years of being in the church world, I never heard a sermon about how good and healthy and beautiful sex could be, if it’s drenched in love. Now, I heard about the sermons, about how it’s dangerous. I heard about how it was twisted. I heard about how that it could be corrupt, but I never heard a sermon on how a positive and good and wonderful gift from God sex could be. And so one of the primary driving forces for this sermon series is that I want us to have a biblical perspective of sexuality.
And that begins with what kind of language do we use? As I thought about what kind of language do I use as I talk about the sermon series, the first thing that came to my mind and all of you that it’s in the medical field, you’ll appreciate this. I thought about: Well, is there the clinical language? Is it medical terms that I use penises and vaginas? Do I approach it that way or do I use what would be called slain? The kind of language that we use in the locker room? You know what I’m talking about. We talk about in the terms of hooking up, getting some or doing the nasty. Or do I do what most parents do? They don’t use clinical language or slang, they make up their own terms. It’s called kitty language rather than using the proper terminology, we just make up terms and everybody has their own terms.
But when I begin to explore the Bible, when I begin to read what God says, God does not use clinical language, God does not use slain. God does not use kitty language. God uses poetic and descriptive language that oftentimes will cause you and I to blush at the way that he talks about sex and sexuality. Lemme give you an example of what I’m talking about. Now. I want you to look at Song of Songs, chapter seven, verses eight through nine for the new international version. And this is from the young man’s perspective. And the young man say:
“‘I will climb the palm tree. I will take cold of his fruit….'” Now I just know by me saying that, that I’ve lost some of you right now for the rest of the sermon, your mind will be there all morning. Okay? “‘May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.”
Song of Songs 7: 8-9
Folks, this is in the Bible. This is how God describes it. And now look at the perspective from the woman, from the young woman. She says:
“I belong to my beloved, beloved, and his desire is for me. Come my beloved, let us go to the countryside. Let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded. If their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom- and there I will give you my love.”
Song of Song 7: 10-12
Now, men, I don’t think that you need me to do a word for word Hebrew study on what that passage means, right? I mean, this is in the Bible. You know exactly what this is talking about. And I want you to understand that the sermon title is critically important to me, and I want it to be important to you because the sermon title is not: sexuality. It is: “God and sexuality.” Now we live in a world where we separate those two things. And when you separate God and sexuality from each other, there’s a lot of hurt. There’s a lot of pain, there’s a lot of confusion, there’s a lot of disappointment, there’s a lot of misunderstanding. But here’s what happens. We put God over here by the spiritual and we put sexuality over here as physical. We put theology and biology and we separate them. But folks, listen to me. God is the creator. He has a divine design for sexuality. And the only way that you can understand that is for you to understand that God and sexuality goes together. And the problem, and the reason why I want to talk about this is that our culture is informing us of what sexuality should be rather than the word of God.
And the word of God has much more to say to us about sex and sexuality than the world could ever talk to us or give to us. But what happens is the church has been silent; and as a result of the church being silent, the culture has pervaded the church because we don’t have a biblical worldview. Lemme give you an example. I don’t know about you, but I remember being on the playground as a first grader, second grade, third grader, and we began to talk about sex, about mom and dad having sex and all of that. And we whispered on the playground, anybody else know what I’m talking about? Or was it just me? And my class was a bad one, right? I mean, we would whisper and we would giggle and we would chuckle and we think we was doing it in secrecy. And then I remember, I don’t know what grade I was in, maybe third or fourth grade, I went and spent a night with a friend and I was at his house. You know what he did? He went to his dad’s bedroom and came back with a stack of magazines, Playboys. We went to his bedroom, we locked ourself in the bedroom. Now y’all looking at me like I’m the only one that did this, okay? And we open those playboys.
I mean, it was exciting. And then all of a sudden, I don’t know about you, but you feel shame, you feel dirty, then you had a big secret about it. You couldn’t tell nobody. And then what happened? Sex became something that you became excited about. You became guilty, shameful about, and then you did it in secrecy. It was not something that was properly exposed to. And you know what? Now Playboys is nothing compared to the hardcore videos that toddlers can get ahold of on smartphone. You know what I’m saying? You know what the average age is now; that a child is exposed to porn? You might want to take a guess? Like eight years of age.
And here’s the reality; is that we take something that is beautiful, something that God has given to us, and we allow the culture of the world to dilute something that God has given to us. Lemme give you some more examples. Sex is portrayed as non-emotional and non-spiritual. On television shows, hookup culture is normalized. Non-traditional expressions of sex and gender don’t just get accepted but celebrated and encouraged. It is interesting to me that we tell generations that you’re just highly evolved animals, animals have urges and you must act on them. Then we’re surprised when there’s an epidemic of sexual assault with people acting as animals and as early as high school and college relationships become as physical as possible as soon as possible. And it creates confusion and heartbreak because kids thinks that they have deeper feelings than they really do. And breakups becomes especially painful.
It can feel more like a divorce because of the bond that takes place sexually. And what happens is to deal with the pain of detachment, they quickly attach to someone else and there’s the attachment and detachment, attachment and detachment. And eventually you conclude: there’s nothing really sacred or powerful about any of it. And you begin to see sex as something that is a selfish desire that you must fulfill to satisfy your own pleasure. And rather than seeing it as something that God has given to us to unite us, it is something that divides us. And we look at sexuality and sex from the viewpoint of the world and we say all the time: “Well, this is such a sexual revolution.” Can I say something to you? This is not a sexual revolution that the world has never seen before. The world has seen this repeated over and over again.
If you don’t believe me, just go back and study the history books. Go back to the first century, to the Roman Empire in the first century. And everybody was young, hip, cool, single drinking their IPAs. It was a hookup culture. There’s gender confusion, same sex opposite sex. Everything goes; study the history books. It was all there. And then a whole bunch of them got saved by the gospel of Jesus Christ. And the Apostle Paul then begins to disciple them and he speaks to them. And here’s what he says in Romans chapter 12, verse two from the Phillips translation. Paul says:
“Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold…” Don’t be squeezed or molded into the shape of the culture or the world as it comes to sex and sexuality, “…but let God re-mould your minds from within…”
Romans 12:2
And folks, this has been my prayer; that we would view sex and sexuality not from the eyes of culture, but from the eyes of God. And that has been my prayer and that is going to continue to be my prayer. And one of the things I realized, John, in doing this sermon series, that the young people in our church doesn’t know what their pastor or what the Bible says about sex and sexuality. And I think it’s our responsibility to help parents and to teach the children what God says.
Now that may be the longest introduction I’ve ever done to a sermon, but now we’ll jump real quickly into the message. And today’s title of today’s message is very important. It’s called:
“Original Design.”
And the reason why it’s original design is because in Matthew chapter 19, Jesus is asked a question about divorce and marriage. And as soon as Jesus is asked a question about divorce and marriage, the first thing that Jesus does is that he takes them back to Genesis chapter one. Now, here’s what I want you to see as we explore Genesis chapter one:
Sexuality has a divine design.
Folks, sexuality is not something that the culture invented. It’s something that God invented. And you may say: “Well, I believe the culture has the final authority.” Well, for us as Christians, it goes back to Genesis chapter one verse one, because here’s what it says in Genesis chapter one verse one, read it with me:
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”
Genesis 1:1
For me, I would contend to you that God created the heavens and the earth. God created it all. And because God is an intentional God, God created sex and sexuality with a divine design. Now here’s the deal. If you don’t believe the Bible and you believe that when you die, you just go back into the box and it’s all over with and nothing else happens after that, then you can believe whatever you want to about sex and sexuality. You can just be a wild animal and get all you can whenever you can. You can live any way you want to. But when it comes to God and when you believe the first verse of the Bible, then you have to go: “Okay, God has a divine design.” We have to understand what that is. Well, what is God’s divine design for sexuality? Well look with me at Genesis chapter one, verse 27. Can we read it out loud together:
“God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them: male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27
So, in this, we are told two things about God’s design. Number one is that:
We are created in God’s image.
We have value. Our value knows no end because, why? You and I, we are created in the image of God. The second thing this verse tells us is, what? Is that:
God created male and female.
He created that. Now folks, whoever designs it gets to define it. And God designs is found In Genesis chapter two. He says: “Okay, we were created in God’s image. He created a male and female.” Now, notice the design for marriage. Look at the next verse.
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother…”
Genesis 2:24
Now, pro tip, for all the women who’s out there looking for a man; make sure that the man that you are dating does not live in their parents’ house in the basement. Okay, playing Call of Duty, 18 hours a day. Do not do that. As a pro tip, the first step is for them to leave their parents. Don’t be desperate. Okay,
Here’s the divine design:
“The man leaves his father and mother. Then he’s united in a covenant marriage to his spouse. He and she then become one in flesh.”
Genesis 2:24
They become one in body, mind, and soul together as one flesh. Now, lemme ask you a question: Is that order, is that divine design? Is it clear? Is it simple? Now all the single people is going: “Ah, it seems a little complicated to me, pastor.” All the dads out there with daughters at home. You go: “Yep. It’s clear to me, pastor, it’s super clear. I mean, it’s like the guy has to leave his parents, they have to get married, then they have sex. That’s clear to me. I got that.” Now, there’s some boyfriend right now reaching over to his girlfriend. They’re living together. He’s saying: “Honey, the preacher, what he’s saying doesn’t apply to us because we’re married in our hearts.” Let tell you what he means; that you’re married in your pants.
God wants you. God wants you. Listen to me. God wants you to have someone who will respect your future marriage. God wants someone who will respect your love and give you a lifetime commitment. Now, as we look at God’s divine design for sex and sexuality, I want to say something that’s going to rock some of your world this morning.
Before there was sin, there was sex.
Now, let me say that again. I should have got at least in amen or something. If y’all encourage me, you never know what you would get. I would probably leave my notes and preach, but nevermind. Before there was sin, there was sex.
Sin enters the picture. In Genesis three, we’re going to get there in a second; but sex was part of God’s good plan and design. Now see, what happens is I’ve dealt with hundreds and hundreds of couples and individuals who thought that sex was something that you did behind God’s back; that it was something that was dirty. It was something that was nasty. It was something that wasn’t honoring to God. And you thought: “Well, we have to do it, but it’s not something I want to talk about. It’s not something I want to engage in.” And folks, listen to me. If that is your perspective, then you’ve got a distorted perspective. I’ve God’s design for sex and sexuality because God created sex for wonderful and beautiful reasons. Now, men, I want you to listen to me. Okay? Men, I want you to listen to me. God created sex for three reasons, not one, three. Some of you’re going: “Why?” Okay, three reasons.
Number one:
To consummate the marriage.
It’s what we just talked about. It’s part of God’s divine design. Leave your mom and dad, you take in the covenant marriage and then come together in one flesh and have sex. It’s to consummate the marriage.
Number two is:
To reproduce and start a family.
This is how we all got here, my friends. We got here through that. And the third one, guys, that you know really well, is:
For our pleasure and our enjoyment.
Okay? Now, I don’t know if y’all thought about this or not. Women would say; women might be mad at God after I say this. I don’t know. But could you imagine God and the angels having a conversation on how to have babies? Have you ever thought about that? And one of the angels could say: “You know what? You know how we could have babies, God? The man could be laying out in his swimming trunks on the beach and his big toe pops off; and it dives into the sand. It’s covered up for three days and the baby emerges.”
Now, some of the women are going: “That would’ve been much better.” Yes, the men were going. And God goes: “No, that’s horrible ideal. We’re not doing that.” And God created sex; for us, for pleasure, for enjoyment, for reproducing to consummate the marriage. It’s a beautiful thing because God designed it. But then what happens in Genesis chapter three, then sin enters to the world. And when sin enters into the world, everything’s thrown off kilter. Everything is destroyed. Everything is destroyed. It is nature, it’s biology, it’s sexuality. There’s brokenness and there’s shame and there’s disconnection. And why is there disconnection, shame and brokenness? Because of this:
Whatever God designs… Satan seeks to destroy
My friends, Satan seeks to do that. This is the reason why when married couples come and talk to me, the first thing I say to them is that: “She is not your enemy and that he’s not your enemy.” Because what happens is, is Satan has couples, spouses believing that the husband and wife, that the other person is the enemy in the entire ordeal. Folks, they’re not the enemy. Satan is the enemy. Look with me, if you will, at Genesis chapter three verse one. Remember how Satan comes in disguise And can I tell you something? Satan always comes in disguise.
“Now, the serpent, that was Satan, was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Did God really say…?'”
Genesis 3:1
Did God really say that? That is Satan’s number one weapon of choice; is to get you to question God. And here’s how we do it. Today we do a little bit more sophisticated. Well, you know that God said that back then, in the Old Testament, but it doesn’t apply to today. Friends, listen to me. If God said it then, it’s true today as it was back then. But Satan wants you to doubt God. And here’s how He wants you to doubt him. He just wants you to go: “Did God really say that?” And just fill in the blank. And folks, let me just say something to you; when you separate spirituality from sexuality, it creates wounds. Even if you’re not conscious of it, it destroys your soul. It destroys your heart and your mind. Listen to me, when you separate spirituality from sexuality, it causes all kinds of confusion. God has a divine design for everything. Now, I want to close by quoting something for you. Psychology is getting caught up with theology. Now, lemme say that again; is that the world is finally catching up to God In his theology. Psychology is beginning to see the devastation of casual sex.
And what I mean by that is that over the last couple years, more and more articles and research is coming out in places like the Washington Post and the Time Magazine. If you know anything about the Washington Post and Times Magazine, you know that they are not Christian Jesus centered articles or papers or magazines. They’re what we would call “secular.” And they are saying the same thing that the Bible has said for thousands of years, but they’re now saying it couched in science and biology.
I want to read to you a portion of one article recently from Time Magazine. The title is: “Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex.” And they are interviewing this woman named Christine Iba. She has a radical proposition in her new book: “Rethinking Sex.” And Her Rethinking Sex aligns a whole lot with what Scripture. But again, they wouldn’t say it’s theology. They would say it’s science and biology. Iba suggests sex is inherently not casual. It’s not just a physical interaction. Even if we tried to internalize the modern assumption that sex is like any other social activity, Ib argues that sex involves the spirit as well as the body. And that sexual liberation, which promises lots of fun, no strings attached, easy to access consensual sex has actually left us miserable. Iba, who wrote this book, but also a columnist for the Washington Post, believes that thinking about sex and her sexual partners as casual and as a commodity such as dating apps, has created a bleak romantic landscape. And she says, too many people are having too much of that kind of sex that saps the spirit and makes us feel less human, not more. Sex that leaves us detached, disillusioned, or just dissatisfied.
Fascinating, right? Something that God’s told us all along. And folks, lemme tell you what this series is not. Lemme tell you what Eastside is not. Eastside, in this series, is not about a bunch of good people trying to tell all the bad people how to get good. That’s not what this sermon series is about. This sermon series is about a bunch of bad people saved by the only good person who’s ever lived named Jesus. And we’re inviting everybody to do the same. We’re all sexually broken by what we’ve thought, by what we’ve done or what’s been done to us. We’re all in the same boat. Guilty of sexual sin. So lemme say it again. Here’s what we are at Eastside. We are a bunch of bad people who’ve been saved by the only good person who’s ever lived: Jesus. And we’re inviting everybody to do the same. Now, I want to challenge you to do something. Some of you may be mad because of what I said. Some of you may be mad of what I didn’t say, and others of you don’t give a rep. It’s all across the board. Here’s what I’m going to challenge you to do. Go home this week and read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Read the four Gospels. It contains the life of Jesus. And whenever Jesus encounters someone who is involved in a sexual sin, we call ’em a sexual sinner. Jesus never shames them. Jesus never condemns them, nor does he reject them; in each and every case. When he encounters someone who’s involved in a sexual sin, Jesus accepts them, loves them, and then instructs them to go and sin no more. And he loved them and he accepted them. And here’s the thing; wherever you’re at on the spectrum, wherever you’re you at on the continuum, Jesus loves you and Eastside loves you, and you are always accepted here, you’re always welcome because we’re going to love you. We’re going to embrace you, and we’re going to keep pointing you to King Jesus week after week.