Fixer Upper: Demo Day

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPTION: 

Well, good morning, Eastside. How are we doing? Oh, I love that. It’s getting better. Well, I’m so glad to see you. If you’re new around here and you don’t know who I am, I’m Virgil Grant. I’m the senior pastor here at Eastside. And regardless of where you’re at on your spiritual journey, we want you to know that you’re welcome here at Eastside. We’re so thankful that you’re here with us as we launch into a new sermon series called:

“Fixer Upper: Renovating Relationships.”

I mean, I want to ask you a question. How many of you, you watch those home improvement shows on HGTV or DIY network? I mean you have love it or listed? Listed, yeah. You have the Property Brothers. Yeah. The flip or the flop? Yeah. And you have the Yard Crashers, the Kitchen Crashers, you have the bathroom Crashers, you have ’em all right.

Or you could be like my wife. And her favorite is Ben and Aaron from the hometown. She likes those a lot. But regardless of whatever that you watch on HGTV or on DIY Network, they all have one thing in common: they love demo day. I mean, there’s something about taking a sledgehammer and a crowbar and doing, what? I mean, start crashing stuff and destroying things. And there’s something therapeutic about that. And I’m just curious, how many of you have ever done demo day? Just raise your hand if you’ve ever done demo day. Yeah, and demo day are usually long days. There are hard days. They usually last a day at the most. And I’m just curious. Demo days can be hard, but they can be nasty as well. How many of you’ve ever carried out a toilet to the dumpster? I mean, it can be pretty nasty, right?

And here’s the reality. My dad, he built houses and he was a general contractor and we moved a lot growing up. Like if you’re a car dealership, if you own a car dealership, you drive a lot of different cars. Well, we live in a lot of different homes and one particular year we live in six different homes and we move six times. We would move into a house that my dad built, that nobody would buy it. We would move into it and as soon as we would move into it, guess what would happen? Somebody would want their house. And my dad would always take their house in on trade in. And as soon as we took their house on trade in is that we moved into that house and we started demo, pulling the wallpaper, pulling the carpet up, doing everything, putting a fresh coat of paint on it and then putting it back on the market.

And we would put it on the market. He would sell it, and then we would move into another house. And we did that a lot growing up. And for the next few weeks, we’re going to talk about renovating our relationships. We’re talking about our friendships, our marriages, our relationships with their brothers and sisters, our relationship with their children, our relationship with their mother or father. We’re going to talk about even our extended family. And in order for you and I to be able to improve those relationships and do the renovation that is required, it requires you and I to do a relational walkthrough of the relationships that we have. So like if you had a fixer upper, you would call a contractor. Contractor would come in, he or she, whoever it may be, would take out their notepad or their electronic device, and they would begin to make notes of things that could go to the dumpster and things that could survive the renovation.

And much is the same for you and I. We need to look at our relational world. We need to do a walkthrough, relationally speaking. And as we do this relational walkthrough, we’ll discover some things potentially that needs to be improved. You may look at your marriage and you may see that the foundation of your marriage is needed to be shored up because it has been rocky. It’s been a little on the kilter lately. And so you need to shore that up. Or maybe as you walk through your home relationally, you look at there’s some walls that have been erected and you want a more open communication or more open space of transparency and vulnerability. And so there’s some walls that need to come down. Maybe as you look at your relational world, you have to begin to appreciate the other people in your life and the way that God has wired them, because we each have a different personality. We each have different talents and strengths that we bring to the family.

And maybe what we need to do is just to begin to appreciate the uniqueness of each other. Or maybe you just notice you need a small little upgrade like throwing a fresh, new, vibrant color on the romance in your relationship. Regardless, whatever you find doing the walkthrough relationally in your relational world will pay off in a big way. And here’s the thing that I learned about Demo; Demo Day may last a day in remodeling a kitchen or a bathroom. But in our relational world, it’s not a one and done. It’s a continuous project. It’s a continuous home improvement project where we’re always tweaking, we’re always remodeling, we’re always making some changes, and it’s a lifetime of taking outdated, ugly character stuff to the dumpster. And when we do that, our relational world will increase.

And here’s the great thing that I want you to know about this series; I want you to discover that Jesus is still the master carpenter. He still knows how to fix things. And so when we talk about demo day and you do a walkthrough your relational world or you do a walkthrough through the project that you want to renovate, there’s some things that are non-negotiable. There’s certain things in the Demo Day that’s got to go to the dumpster. You know what I’m talking about? I mean, if I could zero in on something this morning, the thing that needs to go to the dumpster, the thing that we cannot let it stay in our world for another month or another year. We can’t say we’re going to do that on the next renovation. I mean, it’s like it’s got to go to the dumpster.

It must go immediately. There’s no debate about it. There is this one thing that I’d like to zero in on that must go to the dumpster today in order for our relational world to improve because why? It wrecks all of our relationships. This is the thing that keeps us from apologizing. It won’t let us submit when we are wrong. It will keep us in an argument when we know that we are wrong. It makes us unapproachable. It makes us uncoachable. It makes us lie about our past. It makes us exaggerate what’s taken place in our world today. It causes us to enhance our social media profile. It causes us to lie and cheat, to win at all cost. It costs us to somehow or another not to celebrate the victories of others. It will cause us to downplay other people in our lives. It will cause us to keep running and competing at a very unhealthy level. It will keep us from learning new stuff. It will keep us from asking directions. It will cause us to cheat in order to ever not to lose. It will cause us to buy stuff to impress other people that we don’t even like.

It’s the thing that keeps us stuck in addiction. It’s the thing that causes you and I to destroy relationships, but particularly our relationship with God. Does anybody have a clue with what I’m talking about? And I’m talking about, what? I’m talking about:

Pride

Now folks, I want you to understand that there’s a difference between a healthy view of pride and an unhealthy view. You understand that the end of creation, what did God do at the end of creation? Someone tell me he looked at his creation and he said what? He says, “That is,” what? “That is good.” And like these college graduates and these high school graduates, they should be proud.

We as parents and family members; we should be proud of. “Hey, look at what you’ve accomplished. Wow, fantastic job.” I mean, we should be proud of our children and our grandchildren. We should be proud of the things that we create. We should be proud of the things that we accomplish in life and the achievements that we have. That is a healthy thing, folks. We should never discount the accomplishments that takes place within our family. But the unhealthy pride that I’m talking about, I would describe it like this:

There’s a puffed up sense of self-importance

There is, secondly:

An inflated ego

Third, there is:

Selfishness

And fourth, there is:

Arrogance that takes place

And folks listen to me; you understand that your home that you live in, that it is a foundation, correct? And that foundation that you have, your house is built upon that foundation. And here’s what I want you to see.

Pride is the deep foundation that every other sin is built on in my life.

And folks, when you begin to look at all the sins that are manifested in your life, in your relationships, in your marriage, in whatever it may be, the foundational sin that you’ll find at the very heart of all the other sins in your walk with Christ is that of pride. Now, some of you may have seen this. I read this a couple months ago and this is by Beth Moore; and Beth Moore says:

“My name is Pride. I’m a cheater. I cheat you of God-given destiny because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment because you deserve better than this. I cheat you of knowledge because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing because you’re too full of you to forgive. I cheat you of holiness because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong. I cheat you of vision because you would rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship because nobody’s going to know the real you. I cheat you of love because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth. I cheat you of God’s glory because I convince you to seek your own glory. My name is pride. I’m a cheater. You like me because you think I am always looking out for you, untrue. I’m looking to make a full of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry if you stick with me, you’ll never know.”

Beth Moore

But isn’t that powerful, that pride, your ego becomes this self-imposed prison? It keeps you locked up in solitary confinement. It becomes this dark and lonely cell that keeps you in and everybody else out. I mean, you remember what the word ego stands for, right? The word ego stands for what? Read it out loud with me:

Edging God out of your life.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that. Look what it says in Psalm chapter 10. It says this:

“In his pride the wicked person does not seek God; in all their thoughts. There’s no room for…” What? “….There’s no room for God.”

Psalm 10:4

Folks, listen to me. Pride will cause you not to seek God; not to make room for God in your life. Because why? What happens? You become the center of your universe. And this is the reason why God detests pride, because it keeps you from experiencing his love, his joy, his peace, his contentment, all the wisdom, all the leadership, all the discernment that he has to offer you. Pride keeps you from experiencing all of that, and you never step into the greatness that God has designed for your life. Now, rose and I, we’ve been married almost 36 years, come this October. And I just want to say that I can tell you without reservations; that Rose’s huge ego has been the one contributor to the breakdown of our love. Now, you know that’s not true, right? But what Rose and I can tell you; that pride prevents us from receiving and giving love appropriately. Because what happens is pride causes me to walk into the room and say: “Here I am.” Rather than say: “There you are.” I mean folks, pride is what causes me, what causes you. It prevents you and I from saying the necessary statements that we need in life to say like: “I need help. I’m sorry, will you forgive me? I need directions. I mean, I love you. I’m proud of you.” All of those things, folks, those necessary statements that we need to say, “Pride,” keeps us from saying that. And as a result, what happens is, is that we become very controlling and very intimidating, and people all around us is walking on eggshells whenever they encounter us. And how many of you remember the movie? It’s an older movie. It’s called Hitch. Anybody remember that movie? Remember who was starred in the movie? It was Will Smith and Kevin James. Remember, I want you to watch this 30 second clip from that movie.

“Don’t ever do that again. Do you hear me?” “Just expressing myself.” “No. No. Not like that. This is where you live, right here. You live right here. Okay, this is home. No pizza. They got food there.”

So what was Will Smith saying to Kevin James is: “Keep your elbows in. Keep it right here”” And that is the ground rule for this sermon series, okay? There’s no nudging, there’s no elbow and the person who’s next to you, okay? And here’s the thing; some of you’re sitting there going: “I’m nudging him or her right now.” Or some of you’re thinking: “Well, you know what? I wish So-and-so was here to hear this message today.” Well, can I say something to you? You’re proving my point that you need this message today because when it comes to being fixer uppers in need of demo and renovation, it applies to all of us because why? We’re all selfish when it comes to our lives; and if our relationships are going to thrive, pride must go to the dumpster and humility must enter the picture. And the greatest example of all of humility is Jesus himself.

And we’re going to go to Philippians chapter two. We could go to a lot of different passages, but we’re going to go to Philippians chapter two. And this was actually a hymn, a song that the early church would sing. This was like one of their favorite hymns that they would sing when they would gather together. And what we’re going to see is that this virtue of humility unlocks the cell door of pride. Now, we’re going to begin in verse five, and I’m just going to read some verses and I’m going to elaborate. And so Philippians chapter two, verse five is going to come on the screen and notice it says:

“In your relationships…” In your relationships, you get to decide how you’re going to interact. You get to decide if humility is going to reign in your heart or if pride is going to manifest itself. You get to choose if you’re going to walk in the spirit and with the spirit, you’re going to choose if the Holy Spirit is going to take control of your mind, heart, and soul, and you’re going to wash feet or you are going to allow pride to take place and you are going to demand everyone to serve you, you get to choose. Now, what do you get to choose? You get to choose to: “….have the same mindset of Jesus.”

Philippians 2:5

And by the way, Jesus is really the one at the center of the universe. You get to choose. Verse number six:

“Jesus, who being in very nature of God…”

Philippians 2:6

That phrase, the very nature of God means the very essence of God. Jesus wasn’t sort of like God. Jesus didn’t just have a few godly characteristics. It wasn’t that he could do a little supernatural magic tricks. No, it means that he was God himself because this is what the Bible tells us in Colossians chapter one. It tells us this:

“For in Jesus all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Jesus and for Jesus. He’s before all things. And in him, he holds all things together.”

Colossians 1:16:17

Jesus was fully God, even though he was the very essence of God, he did not consider equality with God, something to be grasped. Jesus made a choice. Jesus didn’t hang on to his pride. He didn’t hang on to his divine rights. He didn’t clench his hands in his mouth and said: “I have the right to be served.” He didn’t do any of that. What did Jesus do? He opened his hands. He put his ego on the altar and he fully surrendered to the Father. Jesus came to the earth and he laid down his divine rights for 33 years. Jesus did not empty himself of his deity. He emptied himself of himself. Look with me at verse seven:

“But rather, Jesus made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant and being made in human likeness.”

Philippians 2:7

Jesus came in as much insignificance as anybody could. You understand that He’s born in a manger. The very first people who hears of Jesus’s coming is the lowest of the low; the shepherds of the city. He is surrounded by the smell of cow manure. He’s born in a little bitty hick town who had a poor and terrible reputation. He spent most of his life framing houses and pounding nails. He grew up with his hands in wood and he died with his hands in wood. There’s no grandiosity about the coming of Jesus or the life of Jesus.

He was a servant. And folks, the dichotomy of attention for you and I, are we going to be like Jesus and take on the nature of a servant? Are we’re going to continue to be puffed up and to be proud and require that people serve us? And folks, this is just not an issue in the church, even though it’s clearly in the Bible that we’re to be servants. But this is a thing that is debated in the business world all the time. In the Atlantic Journal a couple years ago, they put out an article and the article was: “It pays to be a jerk.” And this description, and the author says:

“Smile at the customer. Bake cookies for your colleagues, seeing your subordinates praises, share credit, listen, empathize, don’t drive the last dollar out of a deal. Leave the last donut for someone else.”

That seems like a pretty good life, right? Or you could do this:

“Sneer at the customer. Keep your colleagues on edge, claim credit, speak first. Put your feet on the table, withhold approval, instill fear, interrupt. Ask for more. And by all means, take that last donut because you deserve it.”

Then the article goes on to say this:

“Follow one of these paths, the success literature tells us, and you’ll go far. Follow the other and you’ll do…” What? “….You’ll die powerless and broke. The only question is…” What? “…Which is which?”

And Jerry Pfeiffer, a business professor at Stanford University, he makes this comment. He says, in that same article:

“We believe that we want people who are modest, authentic, and all the things we rate positively to be our leaders. But research has shown that all the things we rate negatively like immodesty that are the best predictors of higher salaries are getting chosen for a leadership position,” And he goes on to say, “I’m concerned for all of my business students because they’re way too nice.”

Jerry Pfeiffer

And what we understand is that the nice guys always do, what? They finish last. And it is a tension that is witnessed not only in the church world, but also in the business world. And you know what Jesus does? Jesus comes along and he redefines greatness. He redefines success. You know what he does? He’s in the upper room. He’s with his disciples. You remember this, right? He’s with his guys. They’re all gathered together. They’re having a big debate on when Jesus is going to take over the Roman government; when Jesus is going to be exalted as king; when Jesus is going to be the ruler and they’re all imagining themselves being a part of the executive team of this transition. They’re all excited. They’re all pumped up. They’re puffed up.

And Jesus, by far, the most powerful person in the room. What does Jesus do? He’s the most important, the most powerful. I mean, he’s the deity standing there in the midst of them. What does he do? He goes over, he gets a towel, he puts it around his waist, he grabs a basin of water. And what does he do? He goes and he does what? He washes the disciples feet. And he says to the disciples, and he says to you and I this morning:

“If you want to be great, if you want to be the greatest in the kingdom of God, go and do likewise. Go and serve your family. Go and serve your community. Go and serve your children. Go and serve your life group. Go and do likewise.”

Now, I know many of you are in the season of Downscaling. You’re on the verge of being empty nesters. And can I just say something to you? The empty nester stage of life is really good. I mean, I would encourage it. And you’re thinking: “We got to sell this big house because my knees don’t really like the stairs anymore. But I want you to look at this next verse. I want you to look at verse eight:

“And being found in appearance as a man, Jesus humbled himself by being obedient to death- even death on a cross!”

Philippians 2:8

You want to talk about downscaling? He leaves the grander of heaven for a zero bedroom timeshare. He leaves from transcending all time and space to being fenced into a little piece of geography. He goes from absolute perfection to learning how to walk, how to navigate an ear infection, chickenpox, zits, throwing up, experiencing hunger and exhaustion, dealing with heat and being hot and sweaty; to be made fun of, rejected, laughed at, spit upon, beaten up to have nails driven through his hands and feet. See folks, he did not lay down his divinity.

He just laid down himself. He crucified his ego. He let go of his rights. He didn’t demand that he had equality with God. He came to you and I in the form of a human appearance being even to be obedient to death. You know what he’s asking us to do? He’s asking us to help with the dishes. He’s asking that you bring the vehicle back on a full tank rather than empty. He’s asking that we stop and ask for directions. He’s asking for us to go last in line to let somebody else have the parking space. The one who volunteer, who went to the cross is asking you and I to suck it up and to apologize to your spouse for being a jerk. He’s asking us to let go of the grudge that we’ve been holding for years. Send a text message, send the letter.

The one who’s the King of Kings is asking us to tell your daughter how proud you are of her and to tell somebody else what they mean to you. Jesus says: “Come on folks, follow my example. Aren’t you sick and tired of allowing pride to rule your heart and to your life and to keep you locked up in the prison cell?” And on demo day, I just want to ask you a couple questions in closing, and here’s the questions I want to ask you as we close out the service. The first question is this:

In what ways does pride play out in you or in me?

Now, some of you’re sitting here thinking: “I don’t think I have a bone in my body that has any pride in it.” But can I ask you to do me a favor? Just ask the people around you if you have any pride tendencies. And lemme just give you a little emotional intelligence inside here. If they become really quiet, look down at the ground, swallow really hard, you’ve got your answer. Because they’re trying to articulate, how do they tell you that you’re full of pride when you don’t think that you have pride.

I mean, folks, listen to me. Pride causes you and I to exaggerate things. It causes us to boast, it causes us to count the number of followers that other people have on social media. That’s more than us. Pride causes us to look at a picture and we’re in it. And we’re not looking at anybody else, but we’re just looking at ourself. And the question that I have for you, in what ways does pride play out in me or in you? And the second question is this:

How does pride disguise itself in me?

I mean, folks, pride can disguise itself in many different ways. Intellectualism, finances, fitness, being on a diet, working out. I mean, it’s about how many books you’ve read, how many friends you have, how many people that you have on social media. How does Pride disguise itself in me? And the third question is this:

How much longer am I going to allow pride to control me?

Now folks, listen to me. It is demo day. It’s time to take the sledgehammer out. And folks, it is time to start swinging away at this issue that is called: “Pride.” And I want to tell you a couple ways that you can start swinging away at this issue that is called pride:

“Hey, pride, you know what? You’re coming down because I’m sick of you cheating me out of life, out of love, peace, and joy. You’re not my boss. You’re not the center of the universe. You’re no longer the ruler of my life. Pride, you’re coming down. Hey, pride, watch this. I’m going to walk over there and help this person right now and not expect any ‘thank you’s.’ Not any applauses. No one is not even going to know about it. Check this out, Pride. I’m going to walk over there right now and I’m going to give a hug to my son. Even though he didn’t choose the career path I wanted him to choose, even though he didn’t play the sport that I played in high school, I’m going to go over there and give him a hug. Hey, I’m going to brag on my daughter and tell her these words that she hadn’t heard in a long time. ‘Honey, I love you.’ Watch this. Pride. I’m going to hold hands with my wife. Yay. You know what else, Pride? I’m even going to let her have the remote control tonight. Hey, pride, check this out. I’m finally going to write that personal letter. I’m finally going to let go of the grudge, and guess what else I’m going to do, Pride? I’m going to go to ‘Celebrate Recovery’ or ‘AA.’ Finally going to admit that I have an addiction. I’m tired of you telling me you can handle and it’s not a big deal. You know what? I can’t handle it. And it is a big deal. You know what else I’m going to do, Pride? I’m going to show up at every weekend of this sermon series. I’m even going to go to marriage counseling. I even may go get some financial counseling as well. I want to start praying. I’m going to start talking to God as if he’s God, and with the understanding that I’m not. So long, self; good ridden, Pride. It’s time for a major upgrade.”